Mom Guilt

mom guilt

I’ve been working towards my goal of trying to balance my world and to be less stressed. It’s not always a perfect split where all areas of my life are equal. Sometimes it’s 50/50, sometimes it’s 20/80 or vice versa… Work is going well, but the house is a disaster, or I’m working out but my kids are a hot mess. The latter has been the hardest to deal with lately. Mom guilt.

As you may know from reading, I’m a working mom and I need workouts to feel my best. It seems as though my next goal will be to determine the best time to work out because I’m starting to feel guilty about missing quality time with my kids. Recently my daughter had a trial dance class and daddy took her because I was at boot camp. When I asked her about it, I couldn’t tell what her true feelings were about class. Did she run out with a big smile on her face? Did she seem like she enjoyed class or was she just totally overstimulated? Daddy was limited on the details. Men!

Sometimes I think to myself, “working out later at night isn’t so bad because they’re just going to bed anyways”. Well apparently, bedtime for my toddler daughter hasn’t been going so well. She’s in totally mommy mode right now… mommy needs to take off her shoes, give her a bath, feed her, get her drink, even eat the chips because daddy can’t eat them, “only mommy.” Even though daddy’s Cool Ranch Doritos are clearly only for him; they’re “daddy chips”. I think she’s wanting me more because of the changes we’ve had in our routines. Before she switched schools, we used to spend at least an hour in the car together going back and forth to daycare/mommy’s school. We decided to switch schools so she could be closer to home, in the middle of everyone (in case we have an emergency), and so we could make more connections close to home. I think with all of this going on it’s clear to us she wants her mommy time. Working out can cut into that time together, resulting in mom guilt. This past weekend we had some mommy/daughter snuggling for a Friday night movie, and then shopping (thankfully she loves Giant and Target) and running errands together. No matter how much I know I’m taking care of myself, leaving her crying isn’t helping my guilty heart.

My son is also going through a little trouble of his own – the one year molars. I forgot how horrible teething can be, and what makes him feel better? Mommy. He melts my heart, and is a total mama’s boy. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Saying goodbye and good night to him can be the hardest thing I do all day.  Giving him that goodnight kiss when all he wants to do is snuggle, is so hard. Every time I put him to bed, I hold him a little longer, squeeze him a little tighter, and give him a million kisses. We won’t get these days back… the days are long but the years are fast. My grandfather said that once to me, and I never knew what he meant until the past few years after having children.

How do you handle mom guilt? I’m open to suggestions. My goal is to continue taking care of myself because a healthy mama is a happy mama! I’ll continue to workout when it best fits our family’s schedule. I want to be a good role model for my children, and I think being a hard-working, fit mom, is a pretty damn good one. So hell to mom guilt! It’s a bitch.

Thanks for reading!

-Melissa

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