Finding Time To Be A Wife


OK, so we always talk about being moms, and all the responsibilities and joy (dread) that comes with it.  But what about being a wife? Are we even still wives, or are we strictly moms? This is a topic we haven’t really written about yet, but is on the forefront of our minds. We talked about how our husbands are supportive of us, but not how we love and support them. I personally struggle with this sometimes, not because I don’t love my husband, but because being a mom is sometimes all consuming.  I wake up a mom, and go to sleep a mom. I am constantly worrying about my daughter, trying to make sure she is well taken care of, and whether or not she has the best possible life. Is she happy? Is there something more I should be giving her? Do I pay enough attention to her? Do I pay too much attention to her, and now she will grow up dependent on me?

Having said all of that, being a wife came first in my life, and I have definitely forgotten what it feels like to just be just a wife. I sometimes feel like I don’t pay my husband enough attention.  Did I ask him how his day was? Was I engaged and listening to his answer, or was our daughter demanding my attention again? Honestly, do I even really care about what he has to say? LOL, I do, I promise. It feels like we have lost some of what made us fall in love, but gained so much more with the birth of our daughter. Sometimes I feel like the intimacy has decreased (I know he probably hears, “not tonight, honey” in his sleep), but the deep conversations about our future and how to parent have become the norm. The struggle has become how do I rekindle the “steamy” part of the relationship while still being the best mom I can be? How do I give the two most important people in my life the attention they need and deserve?

Lucky for us, our daughter is a really good sleeper. We have her in bed every night by 7:30 PM, so we have the rest of the night (let’s be honest though, I go to bed by 10:00 PM, sometimes 9:30 PM) to spend time with one another. This has become OUR time to be a couple again. We eat dinner together, watch our favorite tv shows, and catch up and reflect on our day. There are definitely nights where we just sit and watch TV, with little talking though.  This is not to say there aren’t nights where both of us turn on our computers and catch up on work, but this alone time has allowed us to keep in touch while we both get a handle on this parenting thing. Being married is hard sometimes. Being a parent is hard sometimes. It is all about finding that perfect balance and I’m wondering, will I ever find it?

Thank you for reading!


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